by Michael Rapson
Change is probably one of the hardest things for a person to do.
A lot of research has gone into human psychology and physiology. And there is still a bunch we don’t understand yet. What is understood is that humans will naturally fall into habits. And once those habits are solidified, they aren’t an easy thing to break if change is to occur.
It seems as though even though the world changes all of time and is ever evolving, people are the ones who want to keep things constant.
Part of that is the need for certainty. We want to know what to expect. So, we go through our lives adopting a routine that works for us, even if it’s not in our best interest.
When that routine becomes un-useful, or causes too much pain, then we seek out change.
Change can be hard.
It means giving up what we are doing for something different, and then the certainty we have is challenged.
Though another need is the fact we need uncertainty in our lives. We need some change or something different once in a while to grow, otherwise our lives become boring and monotonous.
What happens when we do want to change?
There are a few things that need to be asked. Why do you want to change? What’s the purpose that it’s going to serve or the desired outcome? And how is that going to improve your life?
These are questions you can ask yourself. Digging deep into who you are and why you do what you do, will help to determine the right path for you to take that will work best for you.
Often, once the realization comes that something needs to be different, whether it be poor health, losing or gaining weight, getting more physically fit, changing a career, or improving relationships, we want to change it all at once and do a complete overhaul.
The problem with doing a complete overhaul is that it’s often too much too soon.
As you remember, people naturally fall into habits. And those habits are developed over a lifetime.
They aren’t easily broken.
Any time you start to change something about yourself, it also changes who you are or your identity.
Imagine if you had witnessed a murder carried out by a highly influential group.
In order for you to stay alive, you would have to go into witness protection and completely change your identity.
You wouldn’t be able to be called by your name, you would have no contact with your friends or family, you couldn’t use the same type of mannerisms or speak the same way, you would have to change the way you look and dress, your career would change, and any interest you had or activity you like doing you could no longer do. You would have to become a completely different person. How hard would that be?
In essence, that’s kind of what it would be like if you did a complete overhaul all at once.
Research shows that any time your identity is threatened, people tend to hold fast and dig in their heels to prevent that from happening.
If you look at political or religious views, you can see my point.
Even drug addicts know that what they are doing isn’t good for them, but over time it becomes their identity and it’s their identity shift that is harder to change than the addiction itself.
Same goes for people who have been overweight most of their lives. They’ve always been overweight, so it becomes who they are even if they don’t like it. Losing the weight would change their lives, and how people see them and how they would see themselves. And that could be a scary thing.
Maybe they were overweight as a protection mechanism, to stave off unwanted advances. Or their relationship with food was for comfort. Or whatever the case may be.
Each person has their own reasons for being who they are.
It all comes down to choices.
The first step to any change is making the choice to do it. So, if a complete overhaul isn’t the answer, then what is?
Changing one thing at time is a better way of doing things. The changes that happen won’t be sudden, but over time they will come and create a larger impact in the long run.
In my coaching program, this is exactly what we do.
We look at what is going to create the biggest impact, with the least amount of resistance.
By adding one thing at time and breaking it down into actionable behaviors, change can occur without the sudden shock and a complete identity shift.
Over time, you will change who you are.
Changing who you are and how you look isn’t a bad thing.
Any time you want to change something in the first place is because you don’t like that thing. You want to grow into who you want to be, while having some certainty about it along with some excitement for that change.
Yes, change can be a little scary.
You might choose to exercise more and eat better, and your body will change.
The friends you had who go out and party all the time, never exercise, and eat poorly might not be the friends you hang out with most often anymore because your lifestyle is different. And you might choose to hang out with the people who fit your lifestyle a little better.
Or maybe you want to eliminate negativity from your life, and those people or things that influence that negativity will have to go. So, you’ll surround yourself more with positive people and things.
Changes that you want to occur comes down to changing what you do and how you think, or your habits.
Habits are those daily actions you do without giving much thought to it.
Like how you get dressed in the morning, how you drive to work, how you relate to your family and friends, the thoughts that come up, how you eat and exercise, your daily life, and so on.
It’s up to you to make the choice to create new habits that serve you better.
You’ve made the choice to create a new habit, now what?
On average, it takes 66 days to create a habit. It can actually take anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for the habit to stick depending on what it is, the circumstances, and the person.
First, identify what it is that you would like to change.
Ask yourself:
• What is the outcome I want?
• Why do I want it?
• How is that going to improve my life?
Once you’ve answered those questions, there will be steps to take.
Start with the outcome and work backwards. Break it down into bite size chunks to work on each thing that will bring you the outcome you want.
Since this is a health article, let’s use weight loss as an example and how the coaching I use does this.
The goal would be to eat better to lose weight and keep it off for life. This would be broken down into segments, and new habits that would reinforce that goal.
The segments would be:
• Creating a growth mindset
• Tuning into your body and mind cues
• Eliminating nutrient deficiencies
• Foods to eat and portion sizes
• Exercise
• Recovery and stress management
If those were broken down even further, then we could take each of those and create a new habit that will build from the last.
• Weeks 1-6: Create body and mind cue awareness. Broken down into two-week segments, it would be making time or an action plan, eating slowly, and eating to 80% full.
• Weeks 7-14: Eliminating nutrient deficiencies, food choices and portion sizes. Broken down into two-week segments it would include, proteins, vegetables, smart carbs, and healthy fats and portion sizes for each.
From there, you would still have a new habit every two weeks for recovery, stress management, experiments to try, and revisiting habits to reinforce the overall goal for a year.
Each habit would be practiced daily.
Exercise would be broken down as well. Maybe starting with 2 workouts per week, and then 3, and then 4, while also getting some recovery exercise days in along the way.
Another factor in helping to create change in your life would be having social support. This could come from family and friends, a coach, or a mentor. And that would lead to also having accountability for what you are trying to create for yourself.
All of this would contribute to losing weight, eating healthier, including exercise, and contribute to creating habits that would keep the weight off for life.
As you see, when you break things down into manageable chunks the overall goal isn’t that daunting, and you don’t have to do a complete overhaul all at once to your life to get what you want.
It does take time, and as they say Rome wasn’t built in a day. And you weren’t and aren’t either.
Change is hard, but change isn’t impossible.
When you make a choice, stick to it. It may affect who you become, and I think that’s the point. Every day we should strive to become better and become who we want to be.
You won’t get it perfect every day. And that’s okay.
Every mistake is a learning experience you can draw from.
Any time you are creating something new, it will take some trial and error. And that’s what makes it fun. You get to learn what works for you and what doesn’t.
Try a habit that you would like to do for a month.
Maybe it’s getting up when the alarm goes off, or flossing your teeth every day, or going to bed at a set time, or whatever it is that you want to create.
Maybe you could choose something a little harder, like eating vegetables at every meal.
You could start off with including a vegetable for one meal a day. Once you have that down, go for two meals. And so on until you are eating vegetables at every meal.
Creating a habit might be a challenge at first, and you might be surprised how it becomes easier as you go along and practice.
One day you’ll realize that it is just becomes what you do without thinking about it. And then you’ll be ready for the next challenge to improve your life!
Are you ready to get in the best shape of your life?
If you’re looking for guidance on how to improve your eating and exercise, learn how to incorporate new healthy habits into your life, and finally look and feel the way you want, Personal Coaching can help you and has helped men and women around the world.
Changing your life isn’t just about eating better and exercise, it’s everything else that comes along with it as well.
You see, living a healthy lifestyle is also about mental shifts that need to happen.
Many people dabble in fitness and nutrition, but don’t quite make it a life-long thing.
Why?
They haven’t made the mental shift to realize that permanent results can happen and created the consistency they need for it to stick.
There is help.
You’ll learn how to lose weight and keep it off, become stronger, and create the mental resilience to overcome the obstacles that you face.
You’ll develop a growth mindset and exceed even your own expectations.
You’ll feel more capable, more confident, and more free than you have in a long time.
And you’ll learn the strategies for eating well and exercise in the context of your busy, hectic life, without depending on meal plans, calorie counts, or will power.
You don’t have to settle for the life you’re living. Step out of your comfort zone to where real growth happens, and start living an extraordinary life today!
Ready to try coaching? – Get a free 60-minute coaching session to get started!
In just one powerful session, you will:
- Get clarity on the top goals for you in the next year
- Isolate and reframe beliefs that have held you back
- Devise a plan of action to achieve your fitness and health outcomes